Job of Guru and job of a disciple

Sri Bhajan Brahmachari

(from "Living with My Himalayan Master: Sri Sri Bhajan Brahmachari")

Kamaleshwar had a big heart and never hesitated to donate generously for anything that Gurudev [Sri Bhajan Brahmachari] wanted to do. He funded the establishment of the ashram of Gurudev to the extent he could out of love and gratitude for his Master. Thakur loved this child of his and they always enjoyed each other's company.

Kamakeshwar one day complained to Thakur, "You are doing so much, giving grace to so many of your devotees and disciples, but here I am; I get nothing from you!"

Thakur smiled and said, "Grace (kripa) is always there my child, maybe you are not able to feel that."

"Why don't I know this, feel it, when others can?" Kamaleshwar persisted.

Thakur responded tenderly:

When you sit to do your mantra japa, just think, 'Where does my mind go? Just as you love your work, your family, your children, you think about them. The day you will deeply feel for your Guru and chant the Guru Mantra with love and devotion, that day you will feel your spiritual life is the most important thing of your life. You will feel the grace; you will feel the essence of your Guru.'

When you are in distress, when you face unforeseen challenges in life, when your intelligence fails to solve some difficult situation in work or family, you turn to your Guru and start to pray. Otherwise, most often you don't even remember your Guru, his grace, his love, or, above all, his infinite protection. Isn't it true that you can't even do the japa regularly at  times? I could show you a lot of miracles, but that will only divert your attention from the Truth and God. You would not get anything of it. That would excite you, thrill you, temporarily give you some faith, but it would not last. What is important is your love for your Guru. 

Then Thakur pointed to his own body and continued, 

"The Guru is always longing to give you the real thing that will transform you forever. But first, you must cleanse your container. You must be able to hold the divine grace that Guru is ready to pour. Cleaning the receptacle is your work. To pour grace is Guru's job. You must understand this fundamental and simple truth of Guru-disciple relationship and divine grace. 

Thakur wanted to play a bit more with his child Kamaleshwar and said with  a meaningful smile, "Of course, if you want to have some toys from me, I will give them to you (meaning Thakur was prepared to give him miracles of apparent grace)." But Kamaleshwar realized that he was blessed to have the Guru who had come to cut away the fetters of ignorance and illusion and take him to the world of light. He surrendered to the Master with folded hands saying, "No Gurubaba, I don't want any toys from you. I want the real thing. I want the darshan of the Divine Mother so that I am free forever."