Only by respecting women could any society thrive; family chores should be shared between the spouses

Sri Sri Bhajan Brahmachari

Once during his visit to Jamalpur, Sri Sri Bhajan Brahmachari was talking to a group of devotees who gathered in the home of the disciple where he was staying. Talking to the householders who had gathered, he smiled and commented, "Men and women, male and female are complementary forces of one Cosmic existence, Together they keep the creative forces to sustain humanity and its elolutionary process." 

Thakur was trying to impregnate the minds of the devotees with the need of more harmonious and loving relationships between men and women. He would always chastise the men when they hurt the feelings of their wifes or other women. He told them that the only by respecting women could any society thrive, not otherwise. He insisted that if we are interested in having a peaceful world, then respect for women and mothers must become a supreme priority. 

Thakur's words are poignant and carry a deep message for the world. He emphasizes men and women as complementary forces of nature that need to mutually help each other move towards their own goals in life.

While women's efforts to attain gender equality are meant to create a more just society and are only means to reach a sane humanity, Thakur was addressing the ancient ideology of Indian womanhood, which is founded on the spirit of purity and patience as an ideal embodiment of true motherhood.

Thakur made it noticeably clear that family chores should be shared between the spouses. In Indian families, women had always taken the brunt of handling all family chores, while husbands only worked to earn money and run the family. Thakur's vision was much ahead of the time. He saw that unless the responsibilities are shared between both spouses, family peace would be disturbed. 

Once Thakur was visiting Kanai Roy at Jamalpur on the night before Shivaratri, the annual all-night ritual of worship of Lord Shiva. The women devotees sat with Gurudev and were immersed in laughter-filled conversations. Thakur always loved these lighthearted, informal get togethers where devotees talked about their everyday life and adventures. Bharati Roy, the young daughter of Kanai Roy, suddenly spoke to Thakur, "It is our ardent wish that tomorrow, in Your presence as the Living Shiva, we would celebrate Shivaratri and stay awake the whole night singing and worshipping."

Thakur instantly agreed, "This is such a good proposition! I would be happy if you all fast tomorrow and worship Lord Shiva." Thakur then looked at Samiran Dhirgangi's wife and said to her, "I know that you cannot normally fast and you have small children to take care of but still try to fast tomorrow, as this will bring great blessings to your family."

Samiran was sitting some distance away and overheard Thakur. He came to Thakur and said, "Thakur, if she fasts tomorrow and comes to celebrate Shivaratri with all the others, who will look after the children at home? That would be such a hassle for me."

Thakur's face turned stern. He frowned at Samiran and reprimanded him in an angry voice, 

"Why? Do the children not belong to you? Why should your wife take care of them all the time? Is she here in your family to take on her head all the liability of house and children and the chores? You are all so selfish. You should have a little bit of feeling for your wife. Who are you to always stop her from having a bit of joy in life? Of course, she will be here worshipping Lord Shiva throughout the night! You go, take care of children. And in the morning prepare some food for her so that she can break her fast with that food."

Thakur's heart always ached for oppressed women. He felt the physical and emotional burdens they carry, the pressures they are under.

Samiran also recalled that on another day Thakur had said to him, 

"Always keep in mind women are the very embodiment of the Universal Mother. Your wife is an active partner in all your happiness and agonies. Never despise or disrespect your wife. If out of your ill treatment she sheds a drop of a tear. all the peace and prosperity of your famili will be torn apart, possibly forever. Women are the embodiment of the goddesses. They play different roles with a strong sense of sacrifice and love as wife, beloved, mother or sister."