Madhava Swami with Ramana Maharshi
(from "The Recollections"):
Balarama Reddy: Bhagavan's whole life was simply an offering to the world. Everything he did was for others only. The scriptures say that a jnani has no will of his own and whatever he does is prompted by Ishwara, or God. Bhagavan knew that social service could temporarily relieve suffering to some extent. He also knew that the same person who was helped, would some day come to grief again, not only later in this life but in life after life. To remove all suffering, to completely extinguish the cause of all suffering, the Maharshi was born. He wanted to liberate us from the mistaken belief that we are this frail body, mind and ego. To do this he gave the method of Self-Enquiry, showed us how to practice it and effectively aided seekers by his powerful presence and grace. But even with all that he taught us, there were many who came to him, stayed for some time and then went astray. Such was the case with the pious attendant of Bhagavan, Madhava.
He worked in the ashram for about ten years, mostly serving Bhagavan as a personal attendant. At one point he seemed to have become restless, or perhaps he felt that he required rest somewhere away from the ashram. At this juncture, he came to me one day and asked if I could help him with the travel fare to Yogi Ramaih's ashram in Andhra Pradesh.
Up to this point Madhava was considered a model devotee. Everyone praised his virtues of steadiness, devotion and service to Bhagavan. So I was a little surprised when he told me he desired to leave the ashram. I asked him what Bhagavan and Chinnaswami said about his plans. He told me that they both approved of them. Later I discovered it was not so. Bhagavan had recommended that he simply cease working for some time, take his meals in the ashram and rest, free from all responsibilities. Apparently he did not heed Bhagavan's advice and as a result had to suffer.
Madhava left the ashram as planned, but returned after a short time. His job as one of Bhagavan's attendants had already been given to someone else. Consequently, he had nothing to do when he returned and I would often see him sitting in Bhagavan's hall. His restlessness persisted and it wasn't long before he left the ashram again. When he returned a second time he was wearing ochre robes, which means he must have been initiated into sannyas by some swami during his travels. Yet he was still unsettled and he went away again. Then, all of a sudden, we heard he had died in Kumbhakonam under strange circumstances.
It is not altogether uncommon for aspirants to deviate from the prescribed path after coming to Bhagavan. It is only those who persist to the end with their spiritual practice, devotion and faith that succeed. Of course, Bhagavan's helping hand is always there for those sincere sadhakas who strive and reach out for it.
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| Ramana and white peacock |
(from "Living by the words of Bhagavan"):
Annamalai Swami: Many devotees also believed that the white peacock who lived with Bhagavan in the 1940s was a reincarnation of Madhava Swami, the attendant who served Bhagavan for many years. In this case, Bhagavan seemed a little more willing to admit that one of his devotees had reincarnated in an animal body.
I was present in the hall when someone once asked Bhagavan,
'How is it that Madhava Swami came back as a white peacock?' Bhagavan, without bothering to deny or evade the assumption in the question, replied, 'It happened in the same way that new bodies are created in a dream'.
Madhava Swami had been Bhagavan's attendant for many years. He had started serving Bhagavan in the late 1920s and continued until the early 1940s. In height, size and complexion he was very similar to me. He was also telepathic: if Bhagavan ever wanted anything, Madhava Swami would pick up the thought and produce the desired object.
Although he was constantly in Bhagavan's presence, his mind wandered a lot. He found it hard to meditate and he resented the fact that he had to spend all his time serving Bhagavan in the hall.
When he had first come to the ashram, he had had the idea that he would be able to spend all his time in meditation. Instead, like me, within a week of his arrival, he found himself working full-time as Bhagavan's attendant.
Madhava Swami never enjoyed his work and was always jealous of the devotees who had the freedom to meditate all day. After I myself, with Bhagavan's permission, had moved out of the ashram in order to devote myself full-time to meditation, Madhava Swami came to me to complain about his lot.
'I was with Bhagavan even before you were,' he said. 'Bhagavan has given you your freedom but I still have to work. Bhagavan has not yet given his grace to me so I still have to work.'
Most devotees would have been astonished to hear him talk like this. As an attendant, he had the privilege of being near Bhagavan throughout the day. Bhagavan frequently talked to him about spiritual matters and he was one of the few people who was permitted to touch and massage Bhagavan's body. Madhava derived no satisfaction from all this.
He once told.me' 'Those devotees who come to Bhagavan's hall think that this is a paradise. But for me, Bhagavan's hall is just like hell.'
Madhava Swami openly exhibited a deep disgust for women, especially beautiful ones. When such people came for darshan he would say in a loud voice, 'Why are such women coming to see Bhagavan?'
If he ever made comments like this, Bhagavan would reprimand him by saying, 'Why see them as women? Just see your Self.'
Towards the end of his time in the ashram, he began to despise all the visitors, both male and female.
He once told Bhagavan, 'If being a sadhu means that one should live in a cave and always do meditation, why are all these crowds coming to see Bhagavan?' He had the idea that they all ought to be sitting in their houses meditating.
Bhagavan told him, 'Why do you see these people as "others" and make distinctions? Attend to your serving duties and see your own Self. See the others as forms of God, or see all others as forms of the Self.'
In his early years with Bhagavan, he was very peaceful and contented. It was only in the late 1930s that his mind started to cause him trouble. He eventually became so disturbed that he started to go mad. I remember that on one occasion when he saw some of the garden workers digging a pit for compost, he became convinced that some people in the ashram were planning to kill him and bury him in this pit.
When he was told that it was only a compost pit he shouted,
"No! No! These people are digging the pit because they want to bury me!'
Madhava Swami eventually resigned his job as attendant and left the ashram. He came back for occasional visits but he spent most of his time on pilgrimages, hoping to find some peace of mind. He never found it. As the years passed his restlessness and his mental instability increased. In the mid-1940s the ashram received a message that Madhava Swami was staying in Kumbakonam and that he was in need of assistance. Bhagavan sent Kunju Swami to see what could be done for him. Kunju Swami was shocked to see how much he had deteriorated both mentally and physically.
He passed on a message which Bhagavan had given him: 'You did service to Bhagavan for many years. You were constantly in his presence. Why have you come here? Why don't you come back to the ashram?'
Madhava Swami was far too afraid to come back and see Bhagavan. He had the idea that his mental problems would increase in Bhagavan's presence.
He told Kunju Swami, 'The glory and the grace of Bhagavan are indescribable. But my karma is too much for me. What can I do? I am bearing my karma only by the grace of Bhagavan. It is very intense. I have to suffer like this.'
A few months later he committed suicide by eating some poisonous seeds. Kunju Swami, acting on Bhagavan's orders, went to Kumbakonam and made all the funeral arrangements. Fortunately for Madhava Swami, that was not the end of the story. His devotion to Bhagavan enabled him to take birth again as Bhagavan's white peacock.
There were one or two circumstantial indications that convinced many people that Madhava Swami had indeed been reborn as this peacock. Whenever it came to the hall, the peacock would make a point of inspecting all the books on the bookshelves. Looking after the library there was one of Madhava Swami's daily chores. He also repaired or rebound any books that were damaged. When the peacock came on its inspection tour, it would often peck at the books that Madhava Swami had rebound, but not touch any of the others.
Another piece of circumstantial evidence came from the fact that Madhava Swami was something of a misogynist, so much so that he would often make rude remarks when women came into the hall. The peacock retained this trait by refusing to have anything to do with any of the peahens which also lived in the ashram. I have one little story of my own to add to the evidence. When Madhava Swami used to visit my house, he would always sit on a concrete bench near the door. In later years the white peacock also visited me occasionally. Each time it came it would sit in Madhava Swami's place on the bench.
If there is a moral to be gained from this story, I think that it can be found in a brief incident which I witnessed in the ashram. Bhagavan had been trying, unsuccessfully, to make the white peacock sit in a nest which he had specially made for it in the ashram.
When the peacock refused to cooperate, Bhagavan remarked,
'You nearly always ignore my words.'
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