Self-realization is not an instantaneous act; it takes a little while to boil a water

(from "If Truth Be Told: A Monk's Memoir")

Om Swami: The silence within me was beyond description. Just as you churn milk and it turns into butter, and that butter can never become milk again, my mind had reached an irreversible state of peace and joy. I felt that to remain unaffected, no matter what the circumstances, to be unmoved by someone's birth, death, acceptance, rejection, praise, or criticism - this sense of dispassion and detachment was arising from within me, without any effort.

I opened my notepad and scribbled in it: "Self-realization is not an instantaneous act. We may have an "aha" moment, but it is mindfulness that allows us to navigate the world with the utmost awareness of our verbal, mental, and physical actions. It is one thing to grasp that we are not just bodies, but it is another thing altogether not to react when someone hurts us. We may recognize that anger destroys our peace of mind, but to remain calm, no matter how strong the provocation - that is a real realization.

Why did it take the Buddha six years to achieve liberation? If it was an instantaneous thing, he could have had it in the firth month. It took Mahavira ten years and Ramakrishna Paramahamsa twelve years. The expressions, lessons, and insights add up, finally bringing one to the point of realization. Water boils at 100 degrees Celsius, but it takes a little while to get to that temperature. The flame that heats the water already holds the potential to burn as powerfully as the sun, but it is the water that needs to come to a boil. The soul or consciousness is ever pure; it is the conscious mind that needs to reach boiling point, while the subconscious has to imbibe the insights and the learning.

When Jesus was crucified, he didn't react. He simply forgave. When Gandhi was shot, he didn't say, "Oh damn, I've been shot! Who did it?" He said, "Hey Ram!" He remembered his God. An epiphany or a sudden realization is assimilated and processed by the conscious mind, but true liberation manifests deep in the subconscious mind; it is a part of the Being that has to be trained to attain realization. Enlightenment teaches us how to live in the world with grace, independence, and joy."

I wanted to write more but felt dizzy, and the words swam before me. I did contemplate casting off my body and merging in the Supreme Consciousness for there was nothing more I wanted from the world. Life had given me everything I could possibly seek, and more. I had become what I had once sought the seed of my individual essence had perished in the soft earth of realization. My journey was complete.